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Updated: 11/22/2017 10:18 AM





11/18/2017 AUCTION NEWS

Hi everyone:


I have gotten so darn forgetful – it is scary and, as I mentioned last week, I am – without any doubt – a “Seenager”. Not only did I spend most of the day looking for things that I hand in my hand ten minutes earlier, I thought today was Friday. That is why cnyauctions.com still showed Friday’s auctions. It probably won’t come as a surprise when I tell you that I blame my forgetfulness on the fact that I have not had any pizza in at least two weeks. My favorite pizzeria here in Weedsport – also the closest one from where I live -  closed about a month ago, and I am too lazy to drive Auburn. I am practicing staying home because I hate to drive when it snows! Come on spring!! Only 17 more weeks!  One of my neighbors asked me if I ski. You should have seen his face when I told him that I am so clumsy that I could easily break a leg swimming. I am planning on picking up a cheap treadmill at an auction. That would be the third one I’d have. The first one I bought was “people powered”, and I was too lazy to use it. The second was motorized, and I did use it every day, honestly. Yep, it sat next to my couch, and when I wanted to get up, I just grabbed one of the handles and pulled myself up. Told ya I used it, and you didn’t believe me! Whenever I drag in exercise equipment, some tells me to let them know when I quit using it. Nowadays I park my hiney in front of the computer all day, and it makes me wonder how I ever was able to walk around the block = four miles. Sometimes I even did it twice: once in the morning and once more late in the afternoon. Of course, that was about 15 or 16 years ago. Well, enough about me….

Men don't age, they get more attractive, but the tragic part is that they usually die from sniffles.
Why can't women ski? Because it doesn't snow in the kitchen. The name of the most sold pastry is "that there". Grab a cigarette. Use the lighter. Doesn't work. Try again. Doesn't work. Adjust the size of the flame and try again..... Can you draw me eyebrows?

How To Cook A Turkey:
Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turk the bastey
Step 8: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer
Step 10: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 11: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 13: Floor the turkey up off of the pick
Step 14: Turk the carvey
Step 15: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 16: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 17: Bless the dinner and pass out.

It's the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man begins pounding on the front door. 'Please let me in, 'says the man desperately. 'I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife will kill me if I don't come home with one.' 'Okay, 'says the butcher.' Let me see what I have left.' He goes into the freezer and discovers that there's one last scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man. 'That's one is too skinny. What else you got?' says the man. The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings the same turkey back out to the man. 'Oh, no, 'says the man, 'That one doesn't look any better. You better give me both of them!'


I can’t think of anything other than to tell you that I hope you will take a looking at http://www.cnyauctions.com  to see what’s coming up  in auctions!


Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!








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